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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

windshield note

The Perfect Day

The rain had fallen hard last night, but not today. Today was perfect. Sylvia grinned up at the cloudless, sunny sky, drew in a deep breath that smelled of wet grass and spring, and then dropped her keys. She giggled when she looked down and realised that she had neither dropped the keys on her foot nor in the mud puddle she had almost stepped in but managed to avoid completely. Of course she avoided it. Mud had no right to intrude on her perfect day. She felt almost giddy as she picked up her keys, fingers grazing against the cool, damp gravel. As she straightened, she rubbed her hand on the back of her jeans to brush the crumbs of dirt off her fingers. Then she remembered that she still hadn’t locked the front door.

“Oh, f-f-f-fiddlesticks.” Ever since the stick turned blue, she was determined to stop swearing. She’d only peed on the stick this morning after Andrew left for work. Immediately after the door closed, Sylvia had grabbed the test hiding in her handbag and rushed into their shared bathroom. Two minutes had never taken so long, and she’d surprised herself by actually whooping out loud when she saw the positive result. Followed by a jubilant “Hot damn!”, which was, rather predictably, followed by an earnest promise to the powers that be to give up swearing before the baby came.

She locked the door and turned to go to her car. She saw a piece of paper under the windscreen wiper, and both her heart and her steps quickened. Her footsteps squelched on the damp gravel, and the faintest breeze lifted her hair and brought tiny goosebumps to her arms. She knew what it was. Andrew did this every year, leaving her a little love note for her to find on their anniversary. She adored these little surprises, but she knew they couldn’t top the surprise she’d be giving Andrew tonight at dinner. As her hand reached out to take the note, a police car pulled in the drive behind her car.

Sylvia couldn’t understand what the cops would be doing here. But it didn’t matter. It couldn’t. Nothing was going to ruin this perfect day.

The car came to a stop. She noticed the crunching noise the tyres made. She saw a uniformed officer exit each side of the vehicle, and everything, including time, stopped.

“Mrs Taylor?” She heard them tell her about the car accident, about the ambulance arriving on the scene, about Andrew dying before reaching A&E. She heard it all, but she’d stopped noticing anything. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing but the blue stick in her bathroom and the paper she clutched in her hand.

My Dearest Syl—
Happy anniversary, darling. I think this is going to be our best year yet. I’ll see you tonight.
All my love, A.

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Just so you know…

I Got It

I got
I got
I got that pizzazz
that strut, that sway
yeah, I got it
make you turn your head
want to stay in bed
yeah, I got it
got your time of day
send your thoughts astray
but you got
you got to learn
that you must earn
what I got
you have to woo me
and charm me
and never try to harm me

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again, and

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…written immediately following a break-up. I found it on the back of an old bill I was going to throw away.

my love
I cannot stay
and so I give you
half the sky
I will keep the thunder
and rain clouds and hail
you keep the rainbows
and sunshine
I am not strong enough to
save us both
and I have learned I can
be my own sunshine

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This was not Molly’s favourite day. In fact, it ranked as one of her least liked days ever, second only to ten days ago when she came home and found Marc’s body.

Why? she thought. Why on earth would he do such a thing?

She thought they had been happy. She thought he had been happy. They’d been talking about getting married, maybe even buying a house. Things had been going so well. Or so she thought.

The funeral today had not brought any sense of comfort or closure that she’d been hoping for. Molly was relieved to be coming home, bringing this horrible day of mourning and mourners to a close with some blessed silence.

Out of habit Molly checked the mail before heading upstairs to her apartment.

And stopped, hands shaking, barely breathing. There, between the phone bill and a flier for carpet cleaning, was an envelope addressed to her in Marc’s impeccable handwriting.

A suicide note? An explanation? A tear fell, smudging the ink Marc had used to write her name.

She wanted answers. She wanted to fly upstairs and rip the envelope open. But she didn’t trust her legs.

With great concentration, Molly made her way upstairs, unlocked her door, and went inside. Slowly, deliberately, she opened the envelope. And then closed her door, wanting to be alone with her beloved Marc one last time.

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Moonbeams

saudade — longing, melancholy, nostalgia
the love of something or someone that is missing or lost

How is it possible for me
to be homesick for a home
I’ve never had? Sometimes,
when the moon keeps me
company, I remember you.
Perhaps it is the sterile silver
light, casting shadows on
everything but my heart.
Night is when I miss you
most, not because you are
gone, but because I never
knew you, or your heart,
as cold and sterile and
unresponsive to my touch
as moonbeams.

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Travelling Nostalgia

remember when we drove
from Austin to Albuquerque
the first time
driving through the night to
get to your parents’ house
on time
we crested a
hill at sunrise, cold fog not
yet dissipated
I wanted to reach out and
touch the velvet hills
to stop and curl
up in the valley and wrap
them around my shoulders
a prayer shawl made from
Mother Earth
but I didn’t want to disturb
the silken curves
instead, I took your
hand, pulling your fingers to
my lips
and together we
welcomed the day

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