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Posts Tagged ‘life’

Divinity of Infinity

the religious will profess that
everyone must make time to confess,
since that’s what the parables proclaim

but the prodigious procession
leading to confession will leave an
aftertaste of absolute disdain

the terrible reality
is parables teach morality–
history is nowhere to be found

believe in the infinity
of absolute divinity, but
truly, it’s the other way around

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For Marianne

I live the tangled questions

searching for answers

my

heart

tells me what I need

to

know

it’s the

 journey

that matters

so I just live

the tangled questions

and am

content

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The Phoenix, like Cate, will rise from the ashes

Okay, I think yesterday’s post was a bit of a downer. But then, I was in a rather down mood yesterday. All the talk about the new year, and new beginnings, blah, blah, blah. It just got to me. I am still nursing a very broken heart, and so the holiday cheer just got on my nerves, I guess. I won’t say that I’m feeling better, but I do have a better perspective.

And I am excited for the start of the challenge. I am so grateful to have found a supportive group with the ROW80 participants. I’m ready to start writing again. I have a feeling that my first attempts will be a bunch of drivel about broken hearts and lost loves and all that sentimental, weepy blech. But I’m expecting it, so I’m prepared for it. And I will get it out of my system and move on to write better things.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been down, and I sure as hell know it won’t be the last. But I shan’t wallow. I shall use these past experiences to become a better, stronger person and writer. I am the Phoenix. I will rise again!

Cue the trumpets blaring in a rousing fanfare, synchronized with a soft golden glow around me, sitting at my desk holding my favorite fountain pen. The glow increases until it is a blinding light encompassing me. The trumpets slowly fade as a single haunting violin note, steady, low, and melancholy, floats the image away as we fade to black.

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A time to vent…

photo via Yahoo Images

I’m excited about the RoW80 challenge, but I must admit, I’m a little intimidated, too. For one thing, many of the participants are already published authors. And then it seems that almost all the others’ goals include a word count, either daily or weekly. And I just don’t work that way. So far I’m the only one who will be concentrating on poetry (at least, as far as I can tell, but I haven’t looked at all the blogs yet) rather than fiction. Word counts just don’t work for poems. Unless maybe you’re writing Paradise Lost or The Faerie Queene or something, and epics just aren’t my style.

I’m already feeling a little self-conscious about my writing – personal life crap keeps worming its way into all my latest attempts, and frankly it’s pissing me off a little. But isn’t that what we, as writers, are all about? Writing through the pain and suffering for our art and all that jazz?

Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent a little. Even though I still feel a little like the odd duck, since that’s not an entirely new feeling for me, I won’t let it stop me from participating.

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…for reflections.

I look back on this year with entirely mixed feelings. What a year of extremes it has been. Many blessings, with a healthy dose of curses, too.

I have a job I love, even if it doesn’t pay enough to cover rent. My boys are healthy and happy, which is just about the best thing I could ask for. I finally graduated, with honors I might add, which as a single mom was no easy feat. I had an article published in the newspaper, and several poems and a photograph published in a literary journal.

But months of stress took its toll on my health, which has had some serious repercussions. That can be (relatively) dealt with, but the collateral damage of the loss of a relationship has proven to be more difficult (difficult being a decided understatement). Love conquers all is a maxim that only applies if both parties are in agreement.  I have known couples that have broken up and gotten back together and gone on to have long, loving, and successful relationships. This, apparently, is not going to be my fate. I think I’ll just leave the pieces of my broken heart where they lay; it’s easier than trying to put it back together again. Plus, I’d probably just cut my fingers on the shards.

I have no idea what 2011 holds in store. I do hope that it’s a little more balanced than this past year. I wouldn’t mind if the pendulum slowed down just a bit.

via Yahoo Images

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